Lessons From The House Of Mourning

This first appeared in the Moriel Bulletin July 2013

LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is; that I may know how frail I am. Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah. Surely every man walketh in a vain shew: surely they are disquieted in vain: he heapeth up riches, and knoweth not who shall gather them. (Psalm 39:4-6).

Nowadays I find visiting Europe rather dispiriting. It is not merely the lack on sunlight or the grey skies, but that my country of origin has changed out of all recognition. Being in a land where the light of the Gospel is unknown is one thing, being in a land that has had that light, rejected it and is actively trying to snuff out any remaining trace of it is much worse.

However over the last quarter of the year I spent a month in Europe; -our annual visit plus a second trip, as my mother who suffers from Parkinson's disease had a health emergency. I have seen this disease and a stroke reduce my mother who had a very acute mind, to frail old lady with her cognitive abilities and mobility greatly reduced, My father also is much less active than he used to be, and finds it hard to cope when my brother (who has taken the main burden of care for them) is absent. It is distressing to see one's beloved parents suffering, so this adds to the air of European gloom.

While on my second trip, I visited two of my father's friends with him. One until fairly recently hale and hearty and a keen hiker, still doing long distances of 20 miles well into his 80's, but now frailty and old age have seized firm upon him. The other, once a big powerful man, struck by a rare from of leukaemia and hardly able to breathe when I saw him, faded away rapidly and died after I returned here, at only 65 years old. These visits too were distressing.

Also during this trip, the mother of my closest friend (who was my prayer partner many years ago, and also best man at our wedding) called to tell me that my friend had died suddenly from a massive heart attack; brought on by an undiagnosed hereditary heart defect. He was only 49. That same night I rang some dear friends (a mother and daughter who attended the same prayer group in my young days), to ask when I could call, only to have the daughter inform me that her mother was in nursing care and on morphine in the last stages of cancer. The mother died the next day, aged 91.

On all these accounts I cannot say that my second visit was a cheerful one, but nevertheless I perceived there was a lesson from the LORD in all this. Scripture reveals there is a wisdom to be gained from the presence of frailty and death.

It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart.  Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. or as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of the fool: this also is vanity.(Ecclesiastes 7:2-6).

For the unsaved there is a palpable fear of talking about death. Anything is done to avoid the subject. I have seen with my own eyes people walk into a room, in which someone lies mortally ill and only breathing with the aid of a respirator, and chirp up “How are you today?”, the afflicted will gasp between gulps of oxygen “Oh, I'm all right”, and after that the visitors avoid eye contact with the dying one do not comment on his approaching demise and every effort is made to keep the subject on the weather, until the visit is over.

Of course for those who belong to Christ, there is no sting in death. No need to try and desperately keep it at bay when it knocks on the door or avoid the subject in conversation. My friend of 91, knowing that her end was drawing near, was praying for the Lord to take her as soon as possible and asked her daughter to pray for the same thing. She was running to be with the Lord she had served for 30 years or more.

Remembering Our Great Interest

This is what the Puritans called that which is our inheritance and possession in Christ, the “so great a salvation” and all the benefits and blessings which are ours in Him. It is the blessed hope of the wonderful blissfulness of being forever in the presence of Him who is the fountain of life and fulness of our joys; He who is utter goodness, love, light and holiness.

The unsaved have none of this. For my father's friends (who did not know the Lord), death and what might lie beyond it is an unmentionable horror. In contrast, during my conversations with the family of my believing friends who recently passed, there was none of that, grief yes, a sense of bereavement yes., but overshadowed by a bright joy that these saints had stepped into their Saviour's presence for ever, and we are separated but for a season.

The house of mourning should remind us of our Great Interest I felt greatly stirred to make it a practice of thinking on these things much more often than I previously had.

Redeeming The Time

See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,  Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.  Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. (Eph 5:15-17).

The sudden and unexpected death of my dear friend, came as a shock to me. It brought home to me afresh that any one of us could be taken suddenly. We should not live as those careless with our time, we should be aware that our days are finite at best and could even be cut short. (this is particularly so in Israel with its defective traffic system and appalling driving, which result in an increased statistical likelihood of entering the next world prematurely).

In discourse while walking along the beach, Hadas and I were remarking that naturally speaking 2/3's of our lives had already passed. Our time is running out! The wisdom of the house of mourning should also spur us to daily walking in greater faithfulness to the LORD, keeping closer to Him and being like the good and faithful servant and investing our talents wisely. Not out of a sense of craven fear of punishment, but simply because we want to love Jesus, please Him, and grow more into His likeness. This life is the only one that we have in which to do that. It is our only opportunity to develop fruit, mature in character and give ourselves to the Lord's work before we enter the eternal state. May God grant us all the strength to live fully for Him one day at a time, till our race is run.

For ourselves one practical outcome of this wisdom of the mourning house, has been a greater engagement with intercessory prayer as a major part of our ministry. It has stirred up Hadas and myself to invest much more time in praying together for the salvation of the lost, and the up-building of the Body here than we have ever before. And more than ever praying and seeking the LORD's will for the way ahead; both for ourselves and for those other ministries and works here in the Galilee area, for growth and maturity and for repentance, reconciliation and repair where things are broken or deficient, because a lot of things in our area are broken or malfunctioning in the Body.

My mother is fond of saying “there are no pockets in shrouds”. None of our earthly substance will accompany us, naught can we carry there but the pure gold of a Christlike character forged in us by the Holy Spirit, and those good works which are wrought through us by the Spirit and grace of God will be a crown upon our head to cast before our wonderful Saviour as we give Him all the praise and glory. All else will perish. This is the gold we are praying for and want to see in our own lives and those in the Body around us, and indeed we have an exemplar to follow:

Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ, saluteth you, always labouring fervently for you in prayers, that ye may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God. (Colossians 4:12).